Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Random: { to let go}

It was snowing hard yesterday! We've got 4 inches wet snow covered the ground!  I woke up earlier than usual to make sure school is in session and got Stella up ready. A slow drive to school was the intention of getting up and get ready. The weekend went fast and a bit crazy! Well, I should said has been crazy around here for awhile when Stella received her first {slumber party} invitation. When she got home she was excited about it and of course I turned her down right away! After she gone to sleep I went Google and look up Slumber party. Growing up we never celebrate birthdays by stay over at the friend's house. We celebrated at school by bringing treats then mom would get a cake for us. Sometimes, birthdays are not being remember. Then I was on the phone everyday with different friends { I know I sounded crazy and extremely nervous}. I was hoping Stella would turn around and tell me she decided to stay home. We have this discussion about the party all week long. Lots tears and lots sad feeling between me and her.

Finally, I decided {to let go} and let her try something new and adventure.   As she told me, that she never get to try something new and when her tears ran through her face that I knew she was disappointed. Bitter nights for me as I wished last Friday never came and never had last Friday, but in real it came and gone!

Last Friday, she came home and work on her assignments from school then went packed her PJ and brushes. I pretended that I wasn't pay any attention on her. I let her pack her own. In the kitchen, I heard her said, "KIKI, you stay home and take good care of mommy". I hold it as tight as I can. Then she came out with a full backpack, a pillow and the birthday gifts.  I drove slowly to the birthday girl's house. When we arrived the little friends came out and cheer that she came. When we went inside, I make sure the mom took my number and make sure she can call me any time. Off Stella went. She forgot a kiss bye and have a good night mom. I felt...... missing.. Then I took the car home, my eyes were wet and tears started came down. I cried out loud in the car and feeling so sad, how did time go and my little girl is spending a night at a friend's house? 

 When I got home I sat in the living room sofa for next two hours. The heart was feeling so heavy. Later on,  my friend called me and took me out for dinner that night. The phone was never left the table. I was waiting her phone call to tell me she is coming home. She called and told me she is staying. I feel sad of course. When I got home from dinner, I sat in the couch then had movie on till 4a.m. I got up around 6a.m. then all I did was cleaning and peeking at the clock.  She was happy to see when I went pick up her. She told me she would bring me to her next slumber party. She was exhausted when she got home. She told me they went to bed around 2a.m. then woke up at 7a.m. She napped  a very long time on Saturday afternoon while my friend came have a cup of tea with me. She woke up with fresh mind and energy! She began her first slumber party story and I listened!

xxC


2 comments:

  1. It is so hard isn't it! I remember my daughters 1st sleepover- my husband and I spent the whole night worrying but she had a great time!

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    Replies
    1. Yes! I am glad I am not the only parent waited and worried! It is part of parenting that I am learning and hoping to be stronger.

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