It will come..

After a full month of the 9-5 routine, things are gather up together; in a good way! The bus stop is so close to the apartment and I always get off a few stops early, so I could walk home and decompress the day and reflect what could have done better and of course other things that come to mind right after getting of the bus is what to make for the supper and can I make it to bed early today (honestly). 

I guess, holiday is always a treat for full-timers, is it? The long weekend seemed just gone like a swift. Where did all that time go? When I was still staying at home I was able to finish so much, sewing, house working, and running errands. It felt so strange not being able to do so much for the first time and have trouble finding time to just sew during the long weekend. I really would like to catch up the sew along I am doing and mini nine patch quilt that I am working on and few other sewing projects that I have started, but have not be able to task on. 

Over the weekend, I took Sunday morning off from everything else and focus on working the shop listings for the patchwork handmade items that I have been slowly creating. It has been over 3 years since I have decided reopen the handmade items for the shop.

When I first finished up graduate school in 2013, I though I would teach fine art for rest of my life,but teaching in a large classroom setting was not something that I felt comfortable with and I taught 3 years in college setting for fine art students. There was just something that I was not truly connected to.  So, I took time away from teaching after moved away from N.D. 

Of course, I was lost, if I don't teach what can I do? I have had asked myself this questions a lot from the day I graduated from school.  It was hard to find that path after school. Luckily, I was commissioned to make patchwork quilts at the time, word of mouth is magic! That led me into a new path and I was also giving private sewing lesson to local friends' friend and friend on a one-on-one base. It was the path that I was seeing myself going for; making/selling handmade quilts, pouches, and teaching sewing lessons. 

Around March, 2014, I launched quarter inch mark studio. That was the time I have published my very first sewing pattern. The feedback was unbelievable and that really have brought me excitement and encouragements. No one would  really understand what that supports and feedback meant to me and S. Until this day, I still am feeling grateful!

Right around that June, we've decided to settled down in Iowa and found the perfect home for us! It was in a perfect neighborhood area for S to grow and I can start grow roots for the little patchwork studio. Between month of March to August of 2014, it was dramatic months and exhausted. I have had all kind of ideas and anxiety for all the things, but it didn't work out and I have had to start allover. It was not easy, but we managed and moved into our first home! 

It was a perfect home! It really was! We loved it there! After settled in S with new school and lessons.  I started the "talk" with my dear friend Staci for running a sewing studio in  our "living room and kitchen area". It was a perfect space for a table of 6 people and enough of plugs. Staci helped me on checking into all details for running a studio at home and took me to local sewing stores for possible teaching class. The local teaching opportunities didn't turn out, so that was disappointment for sure, but that didn't back me down. I remember that somehow there were things that didn't work out and that "dream" of running a studio fall apart. I fell into real difficult depression time the hardest emotional break down. I still have no ideas how it happened to me, but I was hard! The sewing studio idea was great, but it didn't work out. Maybe the timing was not right? That have led me to questioning myself more and more and that was the true reason I decided to discontinue selling my works. It was hard decision at the time, but it was the decision seemed right to make. 

Moving away Iowa was something that I never though about! Life takes us on roller coaster rides and sometimes we really get tire and frustrated of it, but sometimes it takes on adventure and discover better and meaningful of the life ride. Coming to east coast is the best decision in my life! I probably would not admit it 3 years ago, but I definitely believe it is the best of best move that we've done so far! I wouldn't say that we love New York ( but who doesn't love New York), but after living in Midwest for nearly 18 years, New York is too much for us still this day. 

It has taken me a good 2 years to feel settle in and getting used to the city life pattern; not all that perfect, but there's a lot of changes that made within myself. I've not change a bit who I am, but then change to a better and confident soul in someway and I am taking No so much easy now! Rejections just come easier for me and maybe I am getting older, so it doesn't hurt too much. 

In 2017, I took a leap and started creating sewing patterns. I knew that having an in-house studio is impossible in our small N.Y. apartment and the timing is not right, still. But I do enjoy writing sewing patterns; provide clear instructions in the way how I would taught in person and show every details if I could in the photos. I have had started a few new sewing patterns; unfinished ones in the pattern folders. Then in 2018 I had to leave my little family behind for awhile to be with my family oversea.  

After all the curves in life, I am still holding up my "dream" of running a patchwork studio somewhere this day. I didn't want to give up what I have been working on last 10 years. Getting a full-time job is for the reality, paying the bills and saving up for the studio. Soon S will be leaving the nest that we build together. I knew I probably will have empty nest symptom and I like to prepare for that now.  I am excited to have patchwork items update to shop from now on. 

I will keep on writing. I can't promise weekly posts, but will promise for monthly post.

I will keep on sharing patchworks here because it is important for me. 

I will keep on sewing , maybe not everyday, but I will keep building the dream job that I dream of. 

because I know, it will come.... 

Thank you for being here and all... Years of blog reading, private messages and all. You have really gift this gal a dream to dream on ! 

xxc

** You can find all the handmade pouches in the shop. The handmade items will be active from Thursdays to Saturdays. I will deactivate the listings around Saturdays 10a.m. So that will give me time to wrap up the packages and ship them in a timely manner, since I am not able to make it to the post office on the weekdays.